So if you haven't seen the video of the Abilene Police K-9s taking me down...you should stop here, and go see it!
Whew, all of that's out of the way (I had to clear all of that up) now I can tell all of the fun stuff.
In this suit, you can barely move. Which is nice, until you're told to run. They should've just barked out "Waddle!" because that would've been more accurate. As I took off, the dog caught me on the back of the right arm and pulled down. The force of the dog, plus my unstability, along with my instinct to hit the ground and hip-roll (thank you, football drills) caused me to roll right over the dog. Poor King.
I mean it. I'll hold your spot.
Okay, thank you for watching. Now, please understand I enjoyed that story, but that's because I was in a controlled environment and in a padded suit. If I were on the wrong side of the law, then that bite would've been bad news. It's important to understand that while the story was exciting, I did not want to sensationalize this. With that said, you also need to understand these dogs are not human-killers. Quite the opposite, these dogs are even-tempered and really sweet, until they're given a command.
This idea came after I was tracked for a story by the Taylor County Sheriff's dog, TJ, who doesn't attack, just searches. While basking in the glory of an exciting story, I got called out...several times. "Why didn't you take on a dog that bites? Were you scared?"
NO.
"Couldn't handle the thought?"
I'll do it, just wait and see. Well, BAM! Take that critics. Okay, come back, I didn't mean it. Are we still friends?
So, in gearing up for this exercise, the police gave me a safe word, that would signal the officer to call off the dog. Again, controlled environment...they weren't going to let their dog tear up my pretty face. (When you're done laughing, feel free to keep reading.)
The officers also advised that if I go to the ground, cover my head with the suit, like a turtle, and they'd step in to keep the dog away from any vital part. Again, controlled environment...
After taking the first bite, which wasn't painful at all, I was having a good time with the idea. Then the officers told me to run, and the dog would chase. Now, let me tell you about this bite suit...
It's big...real big...images of the Michelin Man come to mind, I was also called the "Stay-Puft" Marshmellow Man (from "Ghostbusters"), and even the Pillsbury Doughboy. If you have more, throw them out now.
In this suit, you can barely move. Which is nice, until you're told to run. They should've just barked out "Waddle!" because that would've been more accurate. As I took off, the dog caught me on the back of the right arm and pulled down. The force of the dog, plus my unstability, along with my instinct to hit the ground and hip-roll (thank you, football drills) caused me to roll right over the dog. Poor King.
The dog yelped, I swallowed deeply, just knowing I broke the pup's hip. Wait, before you call PETA on me, the dog was fine! I asked six times, they said I more or less surprised King, and aggravated him more then I hurt him.
WHEW! I could not have lived that down. Although, now I'm afraid I'll never live down the fact that I became a chew toy for some very skilled K-9s.